1. Adversity- how do they respond to adversity? if you like how they respond- it's a pretty good indicator of their character/trust/loyalty. etc etc. do they lash out at things and get really upset at everything? do they live in denial. ignore the problem....numb themselves to it?
2. INDIvidual vs Communal- are they independent or do they involve others in their lives? good indicator of how they will treat another person. another reason why its difficult living with people who have never had siblings sometimes. can they share? are they possessive? are they greedy or spoiled? do they isolate themselves all the time? are they willing to involve themselves in the lives of others? are they closed off or open? do they understand being a team player involves adjusting and accomodating others? are they accepting/judging/hating/or helping?
3. Passion and grumbling- are they doing the right things in their lives to pursue their own life interests? are they independent enough to pursue what they want? are they always disgruntled and unhappy with the things around them? or have they been able to look past that and pursue their dreams and passions? do they enjoy what they do? do they enjoy life? do they enjoy living, whether it be work or play?
Now that we have 3 things i've been thinking about- just to make it simple. what are 3 things you can do with the other person- observe about them- or just notice that will help you find or bring to light these things-
1. Do something active with them in a group- go play a sport with them. are they unaware of themselves? are they aware that they are part of a team? are they taking bad shots? are they able to adjust to being part of a team and doing what is best for the team? do they disregard the opinions of others? are they encouraging? how do they handle things not going their way?
2. Spend time with their close friends. What company do they keep close to them?- are they around people who are good for them? what values do they hold in their close friends? are the friends loyal? are they honest? are they genuine? or do they criticize alot? talk crap alot? are they encouraging? are they of high character? most likely- the person is probably like their friends in some capacity.
3. fight- fighting is communicating. now be nice- but problems always arise. although you can't base everything on how you fight with the other person debating and what not is appropriate. do they disregard you? are they condescending? are they accommodating? do they try to understand where you are coming from and considering you? or are they dismissive and unresponsive? are you able to scuffle, but still have an implicit trust that they care about you? do they listen to you? do you listen to them? can you appreciate them and accept them? or are you scoffing and cringing at the sound of their voice? are they apologetic and considerate? whatever it might be- can they appreciate the differences between in each other and not see it as a bad thing? are they defensive or are they willing to work things out? what not.
whatever your preference is....it's all different between each person- but whatever it might be. it's good to be careful with all these things and to find out and discover who the other person is. compatability is important...but not everything....communication/values/ interests/relationships are all part of the other person. whatever it might be- it's always difficult to be in relationships because it's hard enough to live with yourself- now factor in someone else....and i won't even get into kids.
No comments:
Post a Comment