I sit here and pray as i am preyed upon

people always wonder who their best friends are. i suppose i'm always looking for a kindred spirit- or kindred spirits. kin- meaning related...and kindred meaning related spirits in some way or fashion.

not sure if i desire to psychoanalyze all the reasons why i would desire so much for a best friend- but someone to understand and to be there with you- not out of duty or obligation- but out of care. and while i believe it true that we can learn to love others that we do not get along with necessarily or even liken to ourselves- as the family of God- we receive them all as fellow brothers and sisters- and it is this bond that keeps us united.

However, special places of honor are to be set for certain ones- and most definitely best friends- the ones that understand- well....the ones that you can describe in stunning detail what it means to be a best friend- "true friend" that you always smile when you think about them as being ones that uplift your soul. Everyone has their own style of being loved and need to be cared for...and while it true that w can learn to love- and also while true that we MUST learn to love one another- there are some that just....seem fitted to our hearts.

Now there is always a God shaped vacuum in our hearts that only God can fill- i also believe that there are the honored guests in our house that have special place next to us- our trusted advisers....our kindred spirits....our reflections of light in darkest hours....and in however way we describe it- it truly is....the ones that are able to help us to see God and somehow divinely lift us out of the ruts....that make these nights....

just not so dark and not so hopeless

Go with the Flow Don't say No

i think growing up is about succeeding. for my own life- i have found that it is not a matter of wanting better- but often about being afraid of wanting better. there is a paradox that continues to play out in my life-

i often feel ahead- ahead- like three steps ahead of things. i'm wired in the way that i think long term- i think down the road...but often when i think about the times that i've been ready- i've been reluctant to seize opportunities.

not sure what to say- but maybe it's about seasoning. maybe it's about timing and seizing the opportunities that readily come our way. if we aren't ready for the blessings in our lives- it is easy for us to overlook them and simply turn a blind eye. we call it ignorance- but when we know something is in our face- can we really call it ignorance?

and perhaps it is about that. our lives are filled with blessings that we are unable to see- opportunities that await us in our midst....and regrets of not acting, not doing anything, afraid of making a wrong decision

fear can be so powerful in holding us back in our dreams...and we can stay paralyzed in a myriad of ways. we pawn off our actions as being patient- and i find that....although as patient as i can be- i find that true patience is knowing what you are looking for....and often in times of transition we find serenity and peace- trusting in Christ for the things we love

it's not so much the things we love and want- it's just ....well....it's being ready for the blessings in our life- and so much more that God wants to give us....if we would just open our eyes....open our ears....and open our hearts

Surviving

People are especially resilient creatures. Not anything more resilient than cockroaches however. And not necessarily smarter at surviving than the average polar bear.

Polar Bears have this natural rhythm in their lives at certain times. Maybe not as smart as humans or what not- this survival instinct has helped them to cultivate a lasting population. They never have more than a handful of cubs in their whole lifetime. Simply count the fingers on your hand- that's usually about what they have in their whole lives. But guess what- the success rate of their young is usually around 100% unless some freak accident thing happens.

The cockroach is also adept at surviving often living through natural disasters, they are usually the last living things alive in any area. Even moreso than rats, they multiply, but are extremely resilient. Many are known to have survived many crushed carcasses and flametorches. But even then- they survive. The most exceptional thing is- they are as resilient to nuclear winters, often surviving nuclear blast tests. Now that's amazing.

People have an innate ability to survive as well- but often moreso- they have an uncanny ability to adapt- and thrive.

But oh- how quickly we simply summon our inner animal cockroach and polar bear within us to protect our young and simply curl up to survive. We forget that the defense mecahnisms in us have been trained so well- we are sometimes fully unaware of this.

But survival is only to be for a time. We are not to live like cockroaches and simply curl up and survive. Although there may be times we may need to- it's exceptional of people and unnatural- gosh darn divine- b/c we have Spirit within us to not just overcome- but the thrive in strange and difficult circumstances.

When we begin to move out of our animal instincts, we begin to find that we can not simply overcome- but become.

Animals simply want to keep the balance of the ecosystem. They go back to their lives, wanting the comfort of their own lives. Just don't bother me attitude and leave me to my own life.

And although our world is going down the toilet- we are not animals just trying to survive, but we are not simply overcoming- but we are more than conquerers.

We need to see more than what is in front of us- simply reacting to what we see or feel- that is....if we are more than animals.

With a little bit of planning- a little bit of hope- a little bit of foresight....we can see beyond survival- but finding a way- a path to the preferable future- that is....if we truly are more than conquerers.

A daily Walkthrough

Decided I should document things that continue to speak to my heart through the Word of God.

So i welcome you to journey with me and to explore the things going on in our lives. As with all people, this world can be lonely, but we forget that feeling lonely is not necessary meaning that we are alone.

Being judged and told that we are right or wrong, is not necessarily an indicator that we are or are not right or wrong, but that what other people say, may or may not have merit. Even Job's closest friends counseled him in ways that ultimately tried to solve their problems for him. Not that we should not seek the counsel of others to find perspective of our own circumstances and God's will being done in our life, but we must be careful not to judge things before the present time.

As Paul stated, "why do you judge others, i don't even judge myself"- b/c how can i truly know? But it is having our faith firmly rooted in Christ, where we find that assurance of faith.

People can only help us find our way so much. as the family of God- even then, they can journey with us, praying with us and supporting each other, but we need to ever so careful about judging things. Examples of labeling or stigmatizing certain things we need to be careful with, because when that happens, we become dismissive of what God may be doing in their lives. We dismiss the possibility that God may have something planned for you being in their lives.

I suppose- i am as guilty as any other person but also helped by the fact that i am anything but normal. What is normal anyways?

It's never my job to solve problems for others. I feel that our can do attitude can be disruptive in the workings of God. We all need to go through the struggle ourselves- so we can learn the lesson for ourselves. And while our struggles may be different, people do not learn from as much from what they are good at- but more from times of struggle and pain. Even the strongest people never got to where they were without huge amounts of struggle.

And life maturity for me is surely learning to be patient in times of struggle and patience in dealing with others, and most importantly, patience in dealing with myself.

i may be only able to forgive others as much as i am able to forgive myself. i am only able to love others in as much as i can see myself through God's eyes and loving myself. Learning to appreciate the life lessons and humbling times as normal may be the only way to keep my heart from being calloused and keeping it soft and receptive to the things God is teaching me.

Presently Present

Being aware of oneself seems to be of utmost importance to our Humanistic points of view in our day. Humanism is that way of thinking that Man is the center of the universe. It is no different than thinking that your world is the only one that exists. It's the same as thinking that the Sun revolves around the Earth. And it's the same thinking that sees the world as flat, by what we see and the only way see is through our own eyes.

It's tough enough to try to understand yourself, but trying to understand others- in some ways- our thinking is faulty in that the process of "trying" to understand another is better than actually understanding. We will never truly understand another person- but i'm pretty sure going through that process- and seeking to understand....it's not about understanding at all, but it's about learning to accept.

It becomes increasingly frustrating if we seek to understand fully- but if we can just learn that understanding is about acceptance and accepting who they are- and all their faults- b/c it's our own perception of what fault is.

Now- part of my murmurings is that it's about acceptance and not understanding. Our context is only within our own minds and heads and part of the reason why i believe Jesus says that it is better not to judge, simply b/c nobody knows- and it's between them and God.

We can care and love fully without fully understanding and we can forgive fully without fully understanding. But it sure does help to know that the sun doesn't revolve around Earth.

My piece of Art

I've loved writing and blogging in notes or what not- but i suppose it's time to get in on this craze. The purpose of this is to use this blog for thought out ideas- and maybe not redonkulous mindless thinkings that are too crass or too unhelpful. So the postings here will be though through and articulated. so hopefully- it makes for a better read.

If you will- this will be the smoke that indicates where the fire is- and so will be reflective of things being meditated upon and finally articulated. They won't be raw- but furnished and cast and recast- and processed and refined in the fire- more of a finished product.

This is probably of my maturing faith and character- not all language and thoughts are helpful to others- the need for restraint and self control- i have seen in my own life- mainly b/c my furnace of burning ideas runs frequent and hot. For me- i'm taking it to mean that God is using that within me to brandish word weaponry for myself but mainly for others. So take it for what it's worth and feel free to share and take from my own skeleton closet confessions/blacksmith armory.

How cryptic- and how ironically fitting